You Know You Have Been a Mzungu in Kenya Too Long When…
- “Very OK” has become a standard response to a variety of questions
- Matatus are no longer a welcome bit of colour on the roads. They are a pain in the arse
- You have stopped picking out politicians who might be Kenya’s best hope
- You can’t remember the last time you filled your car’s petrol tank. 1000bob will do you just fine
- You don’t need to look at the Java House menu any more. You know it off by heart
- You prefer White Cap to Tusker, even though there is no discernible difference
- You have an idea for a business that involves either beads or safari holidays
- You have learned enough Swahili to say, “Come here,” “Mow the lawn,” and “No, not like that.”
- You visit any new restaurant in Nairobi within a week of it opening
- If you knocked down a small child in your car, you know you wouldn’t stop. Unless it was white
