Report don’t dispatch

Rule number one for journalists starting a blog in a foreign land, pick the blog’s name carefully.

Meskel Square = clever, good, local. South by South West = geographic, but not specific, nice. Noodlepie = genius.

I’ve just picked a new name for a new website I’m planning. The name’s bloody brilliant. How did I think of the name? Here’s my foolproof list of words to avoid when naming a blog for journalists in odd places,

Avoid Dispatch. Or Dispatches.

"Dispatches from… (insert far away field + photo of white person standing somewhere unlikely + Moleskine notebook + linen suit, smiling while surrounded by non-white people) is not a good look. Avoid it.

Never ever use "Journo". Not once. Ever. Be careful with how you use Journalist. Likewise the word Foreign.

Avoid Beat. Never use Global. The BBC can use Global, but you can’t.

And Correspondent. Or Letters. Or anything to do with the postal system.

Approach Reporter with care. And Reports. A couple of friends use one or the other and get away with it, but you probably won’t.

Steer clear of Times, Chronicle, Journal and Inquirer. And Daily too. Chances are you’ll get bored with blogging and Daily will just be a lie.

Record, Voice, Sentinel, Telegraph, Express and Courier are all a bit up themselves.

Independent will make you sound like a cutesy jingly-jangly shambling band from some 1985 hick English arsepit. And you’re probably not really Independent anyway.

And don’t use Wire. Never use Wire. Or criticise anyone who uses Wire.

Apart from that, anything goes. Oh… and if anyone wants @dispatches I’m open to offers.

Originally posted in the Kigaliwire Roughbook.